Buffy Virgin: Season 2, Part 1

Finally, we continue our adventures in Sunnydale! Now with screenshots, so you can feel like you were there watching it with me. (Don't you wish?)

Ep. 1: When She Was Bad
Awwwwww! Xander and Willow are so cute! They have a moment and almost kiss but then a vampire shows up. And so does Buffy.
"Miss me?” (They did.)
Buffy seems concerned with The Master being buried. Or maybe she just doesn't want to talk vampires. She seems uninterested but then she/SMG's body double goes full force into her training. PTSD? So, killing The Master and closing the Hellmouth didn't rid Sunnydale of vampires. There seems to be one piece they missed in the season one finale: The Anointed One. That damn kid is still around, apparently leading vampires. Angel is back. Pulling an Edward Cullen again. Warns Buffy of The Anointed One. Buffy's been acting weird since she got back but it is particularly weird when she blows off Angel to dance with Xander to the weird Japanese band at The Bronze. Even Cordelia calls her out on her 'tude right before being abducted by vamps. Ruh roh. Now the secrets out: The Master has been dug up. Bitch Buffy wants to take care of it all by herself. But she can't because it's a trap! She works through her issues by killing a bunch of vamps and smashing The Master’s bones. But, damnit, the annoying Anointed kid is still around! They always forget to tie up that lose end!

New Characters: It's just all our old favorites! Although they all have new hair-do's!
Favorite Quote: “You're the watcher. I just work here.”-Buffy
Mythology Lesson: The Master can be brought back with a ritual involving the blood of those who were nearest him when he died.
Demon Death Count: About 5 vamps
Human Death Count: Buffy saves the day! No deaths.

Ep. 2: Some Assembly Required
Buffy is waiting for Stefan to wake up in the cemetery (who's Stefan?) and Angel shows up and they get in a cute jealous couple fight. Buffy falls in an open grave while chasing after Angel which is hilarious.
And this begins our mystery of the episode: a girl was dragged from her grave? Pervy yearbook camera nerd & his science nerd friend say something creepy about too bad Cordelia is alive. So, obviously they are the creeps we are looking for. The crew heads to the graveyard to see if any other of the recently deceased cheerleaders have been dug up while Angel finds Cordelia hiding in a dumpster where she finds some body parts. Cordelia hangs onto Angel like a sad puppy dog which Angel revels in as Buffy gets a taste of her own jealous medicine. They figure out that the creeps are indeed the creeps they are looking for but they don't show up for school because they are busy working on their patchwork girl who still needs a head. Why? Oh, because his dead brother is not dead but in fact a zombie who wants a lady-friend. 
 Commence the hunt and the fight. Buffy wins. All is well.

New Characters: Chris, the science nerd. Pervy camera guy.
Favorite Quote: “She's a techno-pagan, right? Ask her to bless your laptop." (This techno-pagan stuff cracks me up!)
Mythology Lesson: You can stitch body parts together and reanimate dead flesh, apparently.
Demon Death Count: Vamps: 1
Human Death Count: Darryl, but he was already kind of dead

Ep. 3: School Hard
Buffy and the other worst student at Sunnydale are given the task of organizing the parent-teacher night together. Xander jinxes it by saying maybe nothing bad will happen and then Spike drives into town! He joins the vamps & the Anointed One chatting about killing the Slayer. And then Drusilla shows up! She acts all spacey and weird which I find confusing because I thought she was a vamp, too. What is she...? Oh, she's psychic? Anyway, Buffy is having trouble balancing school and slaying, made even more difficult by Spike testing her skills as he prepares to kill her on Saturday, which is night of Saint Vigeous, a night that vampires do a lot of killing or something. If we weren't sure spacey Drusilla was actually a vampire, we are now as she feeds on bad ass Sheila. Shit hits the fan when Spike and his gang crash parent-teacher night. But who comes to Buffy's rescue as Spike is about to do her in? Buffy's mom!
(I just noticed Spike's nail polish. I love him.)
The principal and police officer agree to use the usual excuse of gang members on PCP, which makes me think they know the truth... Spike kills the Anointed One, so I guess Spike is leader of the Sunnydale vamps now.

New Characters: Spike! Drucilla! Worst student Sheila.
Favorite Quote: “Now, any of you wanna test who's got the biggest wrinkles around here, step on up." -Spike
Mythology Lesson: Night of St. Vigeous. Vampire crusades, killing etc. Spike's got history: William the bloody. Earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad spikes. He's killed two slayers in the last century. He and Angel have a history; Angel is Spike's "sire". (Or Spike is Angel's? Spike made Angel, I think.)
Demon Death Count: Buffy defeats most of Spike’s gang. Spike kills a few himself and the Anointed One, finally.
Human Death Count: Only two, according to the police.

Ep. 4: Inca Mummy Girl
Another international historically mystical mystery begins on a class field trip, this time at a museum where the kids are learning about Inca human sacrifice. There's a dumb kid who tries to steal some mystical curse plate from a mummy but he breaks it and she chokes him. When the crew go to look for him, they find that he has replaced the petrified mummy. Buffy is late picking up her foreign exchange student and he gets the life sucked out of him by the mummy. Damn, your tardiness, Buffy! The mummy becomes a real life girl thanks to his life force. She pretends to be the foreign exchange student so she can get her life back.
OMG it's Seth Green! He has facial hair! He's in a band! Their van has black & white stripes!
The mummy has a bodyguard, apparently. He wants the seal (broken plate) back to put the mummy back. But the mummy girl isn't having that. She sucks his life, too. Xander and mummy girl are adorably in puppy love at the dance while Willow looks adorable in her Eskimo costume and gets noticed by little Seth Green up on stage.
Mummy girl starts turning back into a mummy so she picks an unsuspecting boy to feed on- it's Doyle! (Gilmore Girls) but he gets away. Good, I can't wait for more 'Doyle: The Teenage Years'.
So, the mummy girl runs out of life before she can feed again and crumples up again, even though the seal wasn't fixed. And the gang just leaves this big ol mummy mess at the museum. Which, by the way, how did they get in after hours?! Where is museum security?! Goddamnit, Sunnydale. Get your shit together.

New Characters: Rodney, the dumb kid. Seth Green! I mean, "Oz". Mummy girl. Doyle! (I don't know his characters name.)
Favorite Quote: “Maybe he went out for a smoke.” "For 21 hours?" "It's addictive, you know." -Willow and Xander
Mythology Lesson: Inca human sacrifice was a thing.
Demon Death Count: Mummy girl goes back to being a mummy.
Human Death Count: Mummified: 3

Thoughts So Far
This show is really funny. There are so many good one-liners amidst the demon-fighting chaos. I'm getting pretty tired of every episode following the same formula, though. Something mysterious happens, the team gets some of the clues, the rest is revealed to the viewer, the team catches up just in time to save the day. With no consequences or mention of these horrific occurences ever again. I was excited to see some more characters I actually remember; Spike, Drusilla, Seth Green "Oz".

Ep. 5: Reptile Boy
The episode begins with Buffy, Xander, and Willow trying to understand what is going on in a Bollywood movie, which sounds like a great way to spend an evening. Meanwhile, a girl is running away from some dudes in monk-like robes. I'm guessing they aren't monks, though, because the one dude is a 90's teen hunk. Oh, that's because they're frat boys! Gross. Cordelia is dating one and another one chats up Buffy and she totally falls for it which is weird because he is not even hot, especially compared to Angel. Angel, who shows up at the cemetery when Buffy finds a clue. They have a very emotional, tortured conversation about how they can't date because he's 241 and he can't control himself. Yes, it's all very Twilight. Poor Angel. Poor Buffy. So, Buffy agrees to go to the frat party with Cordelia where she dances with frat boy Tom and gets roofied.
(Don't drink drinks that strangers give to you!)
Buffy, Cordelia, and the other missing girl are now chained up in the basement as the frat summons up their demon snake that they worship, but of course Buffy breaks free and kills it just as the rest of the gang gets there.

New Characters: Creepy frat boys.
Favorite Quote: “The reflection thing. You don't have. Angel, how do you shave?" Good question, Willow.
Mythology Lesson: The frat boys are worshipping some thing called Makita who looks like a Silurian/basilisk/Voldemort mix.
Demon Death Count: Makita gets chopped.
Human Death Count: None!

Ep. 6: Halloween
We start with a Buffy vs. vamp fight as usual, but this time she's being watched. A vampire is recording her with a video camera. I, for one, am impressed that someone that old managed to figure out the new technology. While Spike reviews the footage, Buffy is obsessing over Angel (big change there). She and Willow steal the Watcher diaries to find out more about him and Buffy is jealous of the old fashioned ladies in big dresses because she's feeling not-pretty-enough. The creepy costume shop guy just gives her a pretty old fashioned dress and then worships some chaos god which turns everyone into their Halloween costumes.
Kids are demons, Willow is a ghost, Xander is a soldier, and Buffy is an innocent young lady from 1775. Spike enjoys the chaos, hunting for the now-helpless Slayer. Xander enjoys being the big strong man protecting Buffy instead of the other way around.
Giles seems to have a history with the costume shop owner. Apparently a badass history for Giles, he keeps calling Giles “Ripper". Giles beats up shop owner until he tells him how to stop the chaos and Buffy turns back into her Slayer self just in time to fight off Spike. And we end with Buffy & Angel working out their issues and Giles being left an ominous note from his old pal Ethan.

New Characters: Jerk who bullies Xander, Ethan Rayne the costume shop owner.
Favorite Quote: "Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see." "Eyeballs to entrails my sweet.” Drusilla + Spike = Love
Mythology Lesson: Yonos, the two-faced god.
Demon Death Count: Vamps: 1
Human Death Count: None that we see, but there was a lot of bad guys running around...

Ep. 7: Lie to Me
Buffy sees Angel and Drusilla getting close in the park: commence insecure jealousy. Do Angel and Drusilla have more of a history than we know about? They were getting very personal. Buffy cheers up when her old friend, Ford, moves to town. He surprises Buffy with his knowledge that she is the Slayer. She thinks it's nice not to have secrets but he's up to something with a bunch of other kids who want to become vampires.
Angel, Willow, & Xander check out the wannabe-vamp club while Buffy encounters some vamps with Ford. Instead of killing the vamp like he told Buffy he did, he asked her for information and set her free. When Buffy brings in Giles for help, she identifies Drusilla from a photo and the thought-slayed vampire as it steals a book from the library. So, Ford makes a deal with Spike: the Slayer in exchange for turning him into a vamp. Buffy's onto him but he has a sad story about brain tumors to try to justify his choice. The stupid vamp-wannabes get free because Buffy uses Drusilla as leverage with Spike. Ford gets what he wants only to be staked by Buffy when he pops up out of his grave.

New Characters: Buffy's old friend, Ford.
Favorite Quote: “Oh, that's what that song is about!” -Willow about "I Touch Myself"
Mythology Lesson: In Angel's early vampire days, he was obsessed with a chaste Drusilla. He drove her mad by killing everyone she knew until she fled to a convent where Angel finally made her a vampire.
Demon Death Count: One vamp
Human Death Count: Ford

Ep. 8: The Dark Age
A man in a suit is desperate to find Giles, and escape a zombie named Deidre, but Buffy is in the library at night with Giles aerobicizing to loud music. I question the school board policies that allow a student to exercise in the library with a faculty member late at night while Deidre gets to the suit guy, kills him, and then turns to goo. The gang discuss how Giles is such an old fuddy-duddy but then he’s all adorable with the techno-pagan and they kiss. Giles and Jenny sitting in a tree...
Giles has to identify the body of the suit man, who turns out to be an old friend from jolly old England sporting an interesting tattoo, which we later see Giles sporting as well. He crosses Deidre off a list of names after he finds out she died. The only names left are Ethan Rayne (the costume shop guy who called Giles “Ripper”) and Giles himself. Damn, Giles, you’re finally getting interesting.
School on a Saturday is proven to be a bad idea when Buffy finds Ethan in the library and dead guy comes to get Ethan. Dead guy turns to goo before he can get Ethan, but when the goo touches Jenny (the techno-pagan) (still funny) she appears to contract the evilness. Evil Jenny goes after Giles, but Buffy steps in and Giles tells her his deep dark secret past of dropping out of Oxford, practicing magic, and summoning a demon. Buffy goes to find Ethan and falls for the stupid “No, you first.” trick and gets whacked on the back of the head and tied up for Ethan’s ritual.
Buffy gets the mark of Eyghon tattooed on her so it goes after her instead of Ethan but the kids bust in with Angel and a plan- the demon will go into Angel because he’s dead but the demon inside Angel fights back and wins. Ethan escapes, though, so I bet we haven’t seen the last of him.

New Characters: Giles’ dead friends
Favorite Quote: “Have I ever let you down?” “Should I answer that or just glare?” -Buffy and Giles
Mythology Lesson: Giles and his friends have the mark of Eyghon, a demon who gave Giles and his friend a good high when invoked.
Demon Death Count: A few vamps trying to steal blood from the hospital
Human Death Count: Giles’ friends

Thoughts So Far
Now that Spike and Drusilla have been introduced, and we know they have a past with Angel, I want more of that storyline! I’m so over the demon-of-the-week routine. Let’s dive into a Spike-Drusilla-Angel tortured love/hate triangle, with Buffy thrown in there for some Twilight-level tortured romance. Speaking of romance, where did Seth Green aka Oz go? Let’s give the crew their own lives outside of being Buffy’s research monkeys, please.

Ep. 9: What’s My Line? Part 1
The kids are taking a career test but Buffy is bitter because she already knows what she's going to be when she grows up; The Slayer. I beg to differ since being the Slayer doesn't pay the rent. She has to go to high school while being the Slayer so I think she'll still need a job.
Spike and Drusilla are back! Spike is trying to find Drusilla's cure in a book but it's in code and they must find the key.
Buffy and Angel are being all adorable which is weird because I haven't even seen them together lately, let alone cutesy coupley. Speaking of cute couples, Oz is back! He and Willow were selected by some software company big wig to be recruited at the career fair.
Buffy and Giles are onto the plan to decode this book which will unleash unspeakable evil, etc. while Spike's hired bounty hunters find their way to Sunnydale as well as a girl looking like she belongs in a TLC music video.
Buffy and Angel have their skate date but I'm not impressed. By Buffy's skating, I mean. Sorry, girl but I used to be a figure skater and you ain't got shit. But they kill an assassin and then she kisses his vamp face while TLC girl watches. And then she tries to kill Angel and speaks in a bad fake Caribbean kind of accent.
We're left with a cliffhanger of Giles and Willow in the library figuring things out, Angel locked in a cage with the sun coming up, Xander and Cordelia in Buffy's house with one of the assassins, and Buffy fighting "Kendra, the Vampire Slayer".

New Characters: Caribbean TLC girl says she's Kendra, the Vampire Slayer.
Favorite Quote: "Why are they after me?" "'Cause you're the scurge of the underworld?" "I haven't been that scurgey lately." -Willow & Buffy
Mythology Lesson: DuLac wrote a book and created a cross that is the decoder. It contains a ritual to heal a sick vampire.
Demon Death Count: 1 vamp, bounty hunter/assassin dude
Human Death Count: Buffy's neighbor invites assassin maggot demon in for free make-up samples and gets herself dead

Ep. 10: What’s My Line? Part 2
Kendra, the other Slayer, takes this Slayer thing super-serious. Friends? What are friends? Kendra and Buffy clash on their individual ways of going about Slayer business while they try to find out what happened to Angel. He didn’t “meet the sun” (Sorry, True Blood term.) because the gross bar owner dragged him into the sewer so Spike could have him for his ritual. While Xander and Cordelia are trapped in Buffy’s basement hiding from the assassin made of maggots, their fighting builds up to the point where there is no other option but to kiss. There’s a fine line between love and hate?
Kendra talks about how her parents gave her to her Watcher when she was very young to start her training, but I thought a new Slayer wasn’t “activated” until the current Slayer dies. Buffy only died (for a minute) a year ago. Kendra is the same age as Buffy, so if Buffy hadn’t died until she was much older then Kendra would have just been a Slayer-in-Training her whole life? I’m very confused by this system.
Drusilla has had some fun torturing Angel, but now it’s time for the ritual. Buffy is taken there as a hostage so Spike can have her, interrupting the ritual. Kendra and the gang bust in to help Buffy and somehow everyone significant escapes alive. How convenient.
It’s all wrapped up with Willow and Oz being adorable together, Cordelia and Xander angry kissing again, and Buffy and Kendra having a good Slayer heart-to-heart. So… what, there’s just two Slayers now? That’s okay? Buffy lives in Sunnydale because there are a lot of vampires because of the Hellmouth, but is there another vampire hot spot in whatever Caribbean country Kendra is from? I need this explained!

New Characters: We get to know the assassins sent to kill Buffy a little better. Maggot Man, Police Poser.
Favorite Quote: “Man, that guy got major neck in his day!” -Xander about Angel
Mythology Lesson: The ritual to restore Drusilla to full health involves a new moon and her sire, Angel.
Demon Death Count: Several vamps, including assassins
Human Death Count: None.

Ep. 11: Ted
Buffy’s mom has a boyfriend! Ew! Old people kissing! Willow and Xander think he’s great, but Buffy understandably is weirded out and suspicious of Ted. And, after getting to know him at mini-golf, I am more than suspicious. That bitch be crazy!
But in other love stuff, Buffy is loving being Angel’s nursemaid bandaging his wounds, and Giles goes to check on Jenny the Techno-Pagan. She is still traumatized and wants nothing to do with him. Xander and “Cordy” are still in denial of what they’re doing together, refusing to acknowledge there’s something there in front of their friends, but then going to the utility closet to make out.
I hate Ted. Even if he didn’t have that extra bit of unnatural psycho freak stuff, he is so incredibly annoying and manipulative! I’m so glad Buffy kills him after she finds him in her room at night and he threatens her and smacks her real good. She feels really guilty about it though, so the gang investigates creepy Ted and finds drugs in his cookies that makes everyone chill and loving. While they’re investigating his address and marriage certificates going back all the way to 1957, Ted shows up in Buffy’s room again. Don’t worry, he’s not a zombie just a robot. She smashes his robo-head with his precious cast iron frying pan and everything’s back to normal. Oh, and Giles and Jenny/Ms. Calendar/the Techno-Pagan are back together. Smoochie smoochie.

New Characters: Ted, mom’s boyfriend.
Favorite Quote: “Vampires are creeps.” “Yes, that’s why one slays them.” -Buffy & Giles
Mythology Lesson: Ted lived in the 50’s. When he got sick, his wife left him. So he built a robo-Ted, brought his wife home and kept her there until she died and kept bringing women like her back to replace her.
Demon Death Count: 1 vamp.
Human Death Count: Ted

Thoughts So Far
We’re finally moving away from demon-of-the-week episodes and into longer story arcs, thank you. I love the Spike, Drusilla, Angel stuff. More of those weirdos, please. I’m enjoying the show, but I’m still eagerly anticipating more of the stuff I vaguely remember like Willow being a powerful witch, Willow being a lesbian, Buffy has a little sister?, Xander and Cordelia are together?, Faith is another Slayer? Well, I’m only half way through the second season, so I better learn to be patient while all those things unfold over the next five and a half seasons...

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