The Little Pink Book: Social

I've been working on articles and ideas for The Little Pink Book for a few years now. I want it to be something between silly, cute, girly books like Confessions of an Heiress by Paris Hilton and something more serious with good advice for teenage girls/young women. So, some of what I've been writing has been cute, silly little tips & tricks for being a girly girl and some has been more serious articles about dealing with social situations, boys and fashion.
I haven't posted anything I've been writing for it lately, because I haven't been writing anything substantial for a long time. However, I thought it was about time I shared some more of it with you.
Here is all the articles and tips I've written under the Social section. Some are written fairly well, some are a little rambling, some are just vague ideas. Please, don't judge my writing too harshly as I haven't done any real editing to this stuff. However, I would love your feedback about it all; about the topics, what I'm trying to say, if you think I have no idea what I'm talking about, or anything you think I should add.
I think I will be posting more stuff I'm writing for The Little Pink Book in the future because I've been writing lately. I go through creative outlet phases and I haven't been writing for a while. That's changing, though. Also, number 2 on my 20 Things to Do Before I Turn 21 list is 'Finish a Draft of The Little Pink Book', so I better get writing!
Shy vs. Mysterious
So you’re not a social butterfly. That’s okay. Being put into a new social situation can be hard, whether it’s something small like a party or something major like moving to a new city. Just because you can’t instantly work a room like a pro socialite, doesn’t mean you can’t make a memorable first impression. The key here is to be mysterious, rather than shy. Shy is a girl without enough confidence and self-esteem to be social. A mysterious girl has enough confidence and self-esteem to know she is fabulous enough that she doesn’t need to be social right away. Mysterious is sexy and intriguing, never snobby. Be confident enough to know that you don’t need other people to validate your place in that room, but never go past being confident to being a snob.
Being the mysterious girl means people will never get bored of you. Never reveal all of your secrets. If you keep people guessing, you’ll keep people around. People will always want to talk to you to find out more about you.
Even if no one else can tell the different between your “shy” and your “mysterious”, if you enter a room full of new people with the “mysterious” mentality rather than the “shy” mentality, you will be able to handle it with confidence and you might even get out, not only alive, but with some new friends (and maybe even that cute boy’s digits).

Being Late
Keeping her own time zone is the right of every girl, however there are times when being late is not acceptable. When other people are counting on you, you have to be reliable. You can’t be late for work or appointments. I won’t talk about manners or etiquette much in this book, but this is definitely a rule. Besides, who wants to have to rush getting ready and run to an appointment? No girl ever leaves the house looking good if she had to get ready in a hurry.
Being late is acceptable for most social events, like parties. No one expects you to be there at a specific time, so it’s at your discretion. If you are late, just whip out a pre-loaded vague excuse about traffic/last minute phone call/ran into an old friend and apologize profusely. A girl can get away with anything if she just turns on the charm and flashes her winning smile.

On Being Unique
Not doing something because everyone else is doing it is just as bad as doing something because everyone else is doing it.
We all want to be unique but trying to be different for the sake of being different is just as silly as trying to be the same for the sake of being the same. It’s impossible not to be influenced by what everyone else is doing around us. But try to minimize how much that affects your decision making. You may think you’re not letting how the girls dress affect how you dress at all because you dress so different, but probably you’re letting it affect you a lot because you’re choosing to dress so different based on what they’re wearing, not entirely based on what you want to wear.
Girls who want to be different: don’t be afraid of being the same in some ways, no one is truly out on their own planet.
Girls who want to blend in: don’t be afraid of being different is some ways, it will make you stand out for being yourself in a group of clone girls.
People say “be yourself” all the time. But who really knows what that means? We’re constantly on a journey to finding out who we are and experimenting with different versions of ourselves. Instead of “be yourself”, I say “keep trying to discover yourself”. Try new things all the time, you’ll never know what you like until you try it and you could be missing out on something that could make you happy, even if that turns out to be something “lame” like chess club.
You’ll never really figure yourself out completely. Even adults who seem to have everything figured out are constantly discovering new things about themselves and constantly changing.
It’s like that old saying “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” your life doesn’t have a destination, it’s just a journey. So just keep going, discovering new things about yourself and the world along the way. Ever evolving, ever changing.

The Differences Between Boys and Girls
Guys just need more time. Girls are more emotional and we get ahead of ourselves when it comes to boys. In reality we can be just dating, but in our heads we’ve skipped ahead all the awkward parts and are already imagining romantic getaways and introducing him to our friends. Guys aren’t as complex emotionally, they can only react to what’s in front of them. They’re easily distracted, so when they’re not with their girl of the moment, they’re not always thinking about her and planning a big romantic date. They’re thinking about work, school, sports. When it comes to dealing with boys, girls need to try and stay in the moment emotionally. It’s okay to fantasize, we all do it, but it can be hard keeping our emotional reactions to the fantasies in our fantasies the next time you see the guy. Most of all, be patient. That seems to be rule number one when dealing with males. We’re too fast for them, we gotta force ourselves to slow down to their pace. ‘Cause God knows they aren’t about to speed up to ours.

The Break-Up Avoidance Dance
The reason guys go to extremes to get out of a relationship is not because they’re jerks, but because they actually don’t want to hurt our feelings. And more selfishly, they don’t want to hurt our feelings in person, so they don’t have to deal with our “messy emotions”.
Guys don’t give us enough credit to have control over our emotions in a situation like a break-up. They don’t want to be the bad guy, so instead of telling us the truth, that they’re “just not that into us”, they try to weasel out of it with vague excuses given through emails, IMs, or texts because it’s harder to flat out lie in person.
Just as you’re getting angry thinking about how stupid guys are for pulling this stuff, try to see it from their perspective. Guys aren’t always the ones who do the breaking up. When was the last time you told a guy straight to his face that you didn’t want to go on a second date? It’s a lot easier to just send him an email with some excuse that won’t hurt his feelings.
Both sexes are guilty of doing the break-up-avoidance-dance. We all need to learn to have some guts, and put our feelings out there, whether good or bad. And since guys are slow learners, and probably won’t be reading this book, you’ll have to lead by example. Next time you need to let a guy down easy, just be direct, and honest, but not brutal. Guys have feelings (and egos) too. Maybe once guys get the hint that girls are tough enough to let a guy down to his face, without crushing him, they’ll realize that we can handle the same being done to us.

Tip: Duckie
Every girl needs her own “Duckie” (Pretty in Pink); a guy who is totally in love with her, but who she only likes as a friend. It’s a great confidence booster to have someone who adores you no matter what. It’s even better when it’s a guy, so when the guys you’re interested in aren’t paying any attention to you, you at least have one nice guy who is.

Some Rules for Dealing with Guys
Rule #1
All guys really want is sex. Even if they really like you and want a relationship, their goal is sex. That doesn’t mean you have to give it to him until you’re ready, though.
Rule #2
Learn to understand and accept when he’s just not that into you. Don’t waste time on a guy who doesn’t care.

Going Out/Drinking
The best way to save money on a night out is also the best way to avoid STDs: abstinence. Drinks at clubs are so expensive. Don’t drink. Drink energy drinks before you leave. You’ll be able to party all night without getting sloppy and tired. Only boring people need alcohol and/or drugs to have fun. Real girls use their brains and creativity to have a good time, not substances.

Party Tip
When talking to people whose lives are for more impressive than yours, there are a few tricks to make yourself sound more impressive. Choose your wording carefully to make it sound better than it is. Act like you're really happy about it, so at least you don't agree with them that your life pales in comparison to theirs. If necessary, lie. Lie your ass off. But try to make it believable. And then quickly make your escape to avoid follow up questions.

Dating Tip
Don’t be afraid to call him first. Someone’s got to make the first move and it’s no easier for a guy to get up the guts to call first.


monster said...

"Not doing something because everyone else is doing it is just as bad as doing something because everyone else is doing it."

Hell yes!

"Don’t be afraid to call him first. Someone’s got to make the first move and it’s no easier for a guy to get up the guts to call first."

I always forget this one, and it's so true. I think we're still caught up in what's socially expected of us - that the guy always has to make the first move. But that's really not the case anymore. It's hard to do but it usually pays off.

Anonymous said...

First of all, that's really cool that you write. I like writing too, and I think I have a knack for it, but I've yet to work up the guts to write something meaningful since I tend to be too critical of my writing.

But anyways, I'm gonna be honest with you and try to keep this as close to constructive criticism as possible.

1) I think you need more content for each article. I know these are unedited but at the moment, they're coming off as a bit pointless. You should add more information or examples to support each of the main points.

2) I feel like you're really generalizing guys. They're not all the same and it's a shame that you're going to give advice to girls about how guys only want sex, and how they're not as emotionally complex as females, or that they're all easily ditracted. Have you heard of the David Keirsey temperament sorter test? Most guys are thinkers and most girls are feelers, but there is such a thing as male feelers and female thinkers. Don't be so quick to classify them all the same.

3) I'm sorry but I just hate the Duckie Tip. I don't agree with that. As great as it is to know that someone will always love you even if you don't feel the same way, think about it from his perspective. That poor boy. He's chasing rainbows.

That's the only criticism I have. I think you have a lot of potential and with a bit of editing your writing style will be perfect!
And I really like what you included about being unique. I know so many girls that think being unique means only liking things that no one else likes, but that's so not true.

addie said...

I also do not agree about the ducky tip. but A=Shannon: Lets be honest. I think boys can absolutely be as emotionally mature and all that good stuff. BUT They DO always think about sex. even the good guys, may like you but they DO want sex, eventually. but can you blame them ? that's how we were all made, were supposed to want it.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, of course. I know that all guys are interested in sex. I'm just saying that's not necessarily all that they're interested in.

Anonymous said...

I fully agree with Shannon, About the 1,2,3's and the whole boys section.

Anonymous said...