Allow me to vent...
I am a big ball of fury right now. I got to my class this morning at 8am (start of class) according to my phone clock, but I guess I was a few minutes late according to the teacher because class had already started and the teacher was doing the demo (demonstration of a recipe at his workstation at the front of the class, everyone stands close to watch). This new teacher keeps the door locked, so I had to knock on the door and got a girl's attention and pointed like "hey, open the door for me?" I saw her tell the teacher someone was at the door and she made like she was going to come to the door but I guess he said not to, so she gave me a look like "sorry".
So I thought, fine, I get that. Teachers don't like students being late and like to make them wait outside rather than disturb the class. However, it didn't really seem fair to me, or to the members of my group, that I should not be allowed to watch the demo, so I wouldn't know what we were doing that day. Which would be really annoying to my group members who would have to explain/help me all class.
The longer I stood there, the angrier I got. Until finally I looked at my phone and it was 8:15 and he was still doing the demo (that's a long demo) so I thought; if he doesn't want me to learn and to be in his fucking class, then I won't be in his fucking class. So I left.
I realize that it was totally immature and irresponsible to do that, but I was fucking pissed. Anyone who has been pissed off can understand that when you're angry, you're not exactly rational. It was especially stupid of me because I was already stupid yesterday and skipped that class. So even though I don't like this class, I actually wanted to go today because I felt guilty about skipping yesterday. I didn't (still don't) want to be late or miss any more classes because I can only miss so many, and I need to make myself do things I need to do, even if I don't like it. Cuz that's being mature and responsible.
So I'm pissed at the stupid French teacher and at myself. But mostly him.
Whenever I'm angry about something like that it makes me want to do things like "ya, well i'll show you!" So today I'm going to think "I'll show you stupid French bastard! I don't need your fucking baking class! I'm not going to be a stupid baker! I'm going to be an artist! So I will spend the day painting, sewing, designing, writing, making a video, planning an artists group, writing a script, taking photos, and creating things. And when all that makes me rich, famous and successful you can SUCK MY BIG COCK, YOU FRENCH PASTRY FUCK!"
Ahh... I feel better now. I'm off to do some creative work.
xoxo
.tish
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