Season 1, Episode 3: Bay of Married Pigs
“Married people are the enemy."
The women discuss the idea of marrieds vs. singles after Carrie gets kicked out of her friend’s beach house because she saw her friend’s husband sans undies. Charlotte wants to stick up for married people because she so desperately wants to be one, while Miranda is in full-on anti-marrieds rant mode. Carrie just feels left out but hates the looks of pity she gets from marrieds, and Samantha thinks it’s not pity, but fear of single women stealing their husbands that creates the animosity.
Miranda gets set up with a woman because her co-worker assumed she was gay just because he’s never seen her with a man. (Has he ever seen her with a woman? I never understood the single=gay logic men impose on women.) She decides to try it out for a while to be accepted at work as a couple, further confirming her hypothesis that married people just want single people “figured out”.
Carrie gets set up with a man she dubs “the marrying guy”, she takes him for a test drive to see if she might be the marrying kind after all, but ultimately has to be honest with him that that’s not the life she’s looking for.
Samantha gets set up for a horrible night at a party full of couples, so she gets very drunk and sleeps with Charlotte’s Irish doorman.
And Charlotte gets set up with Carrie’s sloppy seconds, since they’re both the “marrying kind”. Their china pattern choices clash, however.
You don’t see much of it, but I am loving the buttoned up suit style on Miranda. I think she’s doing it to try to look more gay, but I’m really into women in beautiful fitted suits.
Character I Most Identify With: Carrie
Carrie’s not sure she’s even “the marrying kind” and neither am I. I’m not like Charlotte, treating marriage like a sorority she’s desperate to pledge, or Samantha who would laugh at the suggestion that she ever commit to one man. I’m somewhere in between. Not actively searching for someone to partner up with, but open to the possibility of a long-term, even life-time, relationship.
“She said I couldn’t understand it- I’m single."
There is a lot of marrieds behavior in this episode that drives me nuts and that quote is one of them. Married people treating single people like they can't understand relationship dynamics, love, basic human emotions, just because they haven't permanently attached themselves to someone is absurd. One of the women in the interviews part of the episode says something about how she chose to grow up and get married while other people choose a life of stunted adolescence and sadness. I feel bad for that woman if that's what she thinks life boils down to- marriage is maturity and singledom is immaturity. Marriage is a choice, sure, but meeting the right person for you is not. It's happenstance and luck and the universe putting you in the right place at the right time. That's why I never understand people who think they have their life planned out, including marriage, because you can't plan when you're going to meet the right person. You can get married just because you decide it's time to get married and just go with whoever you're with at the moment just because he's there to marry.
I would guess that any married person who looks down on single people probably isn't very happy in their marriage. When you're not happy, you take it out on other people. It's basic bullying dynamic. Your life sucks, so you have to make someone else feel like their life sucks so you are justified in your life choices.
I'm probably being very cynical about all this (spinster cliché!) but I will never be okay with anyone making anyone else feel bad about their life choices just because they're different. I will never let anyone make me feel bad for being single or not wanting kids because I am a complete and happy person even without a relationship and the kids thing is a choice, so don't fight me on that.